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Please eat well and live well, that's what that means (I think its a bit more like DO rather than Please), apparently its something you say to someone you never wish to see again! hahaha isnt it great!? Those Koreans, their language doesn't have bad words, just rude/impoliteness >.< haha I Love it.

So anyways, while I'm here, let me tell you something, completely unrelated, it just happened. L was here a moment ago rolling on the floor laughing, I thought she was laughing because of my reaction to her threatening to cut my big bang pillow that she gave me for christmas-

(I told her to read this article, but she thinks im boring so she doesnt do anything I say, so I told her I would hide her ipad then, since she thinks im boring she doesnt listen to what I say, so she didnt hear that. about an hour later she is walking around looking for something, because I am the awesomest liar/actor I pretended not to know what she was looking for. after a futile while, since i am also an awesome hider, she then asks "have you seen my ipad?" after a few moments silence I burst out with "I TOLD YOU I WOULD HIDE IT!! :O!" and she starts swearing at me in korean, and i am just laughing, then she grabs my pillow and starts to undress it!!! [take the case off] and Im like "I CANT HEAR OR SEE YOU!"!"!" [thats how I dealt with H and L when we were all younger, they tended to not punch me when I did that, and their scary antics(knife/fire wielding) that were empty threats didnt scare me, because with me its the seeing is whats scary, not the actual thing XD]. she leaves the room and I bellow about how I wIll not .. err.. Barter with terrorists!! and how i know her threats arent empty! she just needs to read the article. and then I mumble under my breath about an incident that happened when I was about 14/15. I was reading harry potter when it wasn't my turn, it was M's turn, but i had secretly acquired it before her. When she found out she was outraged. I barricaded myself in my room(it was a sunday.. :O ) so L and M were trying to get into the room, but since I was always freakishly strong[and they were younger/sickly XP] they had no such luck. They finally go quiet and I assume they've given up; I sit in the way of the door just in case, but read on comfortably. A little while later they push the door open and fling pieces of paper into the room, they aren't trying to get in, they are just flinging these crumpled cards at me. At first I scoff at their lame attack, Until I see what it is they are throwing ...
(")(ㅜ_ㅜ)(") they were throwing crumpled cards... from my... monopoly game... (")(ㅜ_ㅜ)(") Have you ever watched an anime[usually a funny one] where one of the characters is totally shot down/belittled/made redundant? and his soul leaves him[it's usually a guy], That was me. It's one of my more distressing memories, its really funny now (I'm not laughing) but I was totally out of my mind. haha I might have freaked out, like i doid, but my soul was gone, so I gave the book(I had like four pages left..) over and cried(without tears) alone as I shouted "LEAVE ME!" and hugged my monopoly to me.. I'm sure I went and winged to mamma some time later when my soul came back.. I am sure I am telling it wrong, but thats how i remember it)

-She kept making movements towards it and I would go "ACHK" but then she just started rolling around on the floor laughing uncontrollable, I was like "Bro, I know I make weird sounds, but it wasn't that funny.." after about 10-15 minutes she finally gets a few words out, and she was laughing about THE INCIDENT OF ENGLAND!!! (thats where it happened) This reaction was like ten minutes after I had mentioned it,(that's how long it took her to realize/recall what i was talking about i guess) and I hadn't thought she heard OR listened so I was like '.. "-_- ' and my soul nearly left me again, but then she began to tell the tale of how it happened!! I was just.. Poor OCD younger melanie... I still don't get it, To my OCD brain it was a really cruel thing to do, I told mum about it a little while ago and she was like "What???" cuz she thought it was mean too! hahaha It's something thats stuck in my memory, It's not like i need to/can get over it, it's not something to get over, its just something that happened, and will stay with me forever HAHAHA I feel so.. crazy.. But I know I am ~_- so its ok right? :D

Anyways, Here is a really great song, by one of my favouritest groups! Epik High! (BigBang is number #1~! Epik High is number #2.9.. i want to say 1.5.. but they all just look wrong, Epik High is like Barely not #1, but BigBang is Completely #1....~.~)

I think one of our purposes in Life is to find our "reason to live", at least mine. Not that I am obsessed or anything, its just the way I feel.






p.s. sorrry if i ruined Bleach kekeke, I sure did for me :O

Just Believe in yourself lads, Just believe in yourself!!

A friend posted this video on facebook..



I think its Freakin Hilarious.
I'm pretty sure it's just because of my time in england, and my understanding of certain things, and me having a tendency to Love all things minority like XD, but maybe people who have no idea might not get it.. But I really like it because he doesnt swear (in English..:O ~), and he's super hilarious(maybe too racist...:O ~) but after i watched this video I started on Number one and am on my way to watching the Whole mini webseries!! its also pretty interesting because he always has some Muslim teaching in every video, so its interesting in a learning sense.

So anyways, the 5th video ends with this!! I am not cultured enough to know who said it.. it might be some muslim scripture :O but I think its totally awesome

Life is defined by the choices we make. The good ones we benefit from, and the bad ones we learn from. As a famous man once said, if you had to choose from two evils choose none. And if you had to choose from two goods, choose both. It's choice, not chance that determines your destiny

I think it's Really cool, and wanted to put it somewhere I might chance upon it more often than not.

Some clarifications for the video: Asian in england means middle eastern(usually Pakistani, Indians were called Indians..), Paki is a derogatory term for Pakistani person, like the N Word in North america. Eid is like the muslim christmas (thats what all my friends would tell me anyways..). Amitabh Bachchan is like the King of bollywood, young in the 70's. He's like the Sharukh Khan(OMO!! HE HAS A FACEBOOK!!) of his time. his wife is also an actress, his son is married to Aishwaria Rai (if you don't know who she is...). Pakistani people also watch bollywood, its like tongans and samoans, their cultures are quite similar, so they get each others jokes, or in this case movies, but they hate each other a lots, or rather, ... yeah, you get it.

Any other queries just let me know, I'll answer to the best of my ability!!

PACE!

woooo ooooh!

Sometimes I forget that I speak/understand a foreign language. hohohoho It certainly is foreign! ahhaha

So I figured I should post something, because it was a goal at first, but now its an OCD thing, to post at least once a month!! and January is nearly over, SO I BETTER GET TO IT!!!

So my M (hahahah I really love this, using a letter instead of a name or somehthing hahaha) handed me a stack of papers and was like "this is yours, and since you are old you can have it" (thats not what she actually said, but I see the world differently, and people don´t understand that a lot of the time, so when I say weird things like that they feel the need to comfort/reassure me, as if what I said/how I understood things is bad/wrong, when its not, my brain just works differently, I don't think being old/aging is a bad thing, I want to grow old and get gray hair and wrinkles, I think they should be worn with pride, time isn't something to regret, Waste is!!)

so I was like "booooriinngg" because I thought it was this old boring stack of boring papers that i look at every time i get anywhere near my things. After a couple days I finally go through the papers and find out that they are things from when i was in Kindergarten! hahahahah so awesome, I am as vain as the next kid so I really enjoyed it!

I just wanted to share this thing with you guys, Its totally awesome.. Or Disturbing..

hahah so anyways, apparently November 16-21 1998 was National Childrens book week, I was nine. For school I guess they had the children write stories in book looking thingers, so here is my story, prepare yourself!!

The Story of the old wooden house
Author Melanie Toutai

(page one)
Once upon a time long
long ago there was a man
named eddie. He went for
a drive and he got lost on a
dirt road. He saw an old wooden
house. He went to go knock on the
door. He saw a ghost coming at him.
He ran to his car, but it would
not start. He kept on trying
and trying, but it just would not
start. then two people heard
his screams. But they were too
late eddie was dead. the two peoples
names were Rabeka and Todd.
They went inside and saw something
they had never seen before. they
ran out of the house as fast as
they could. they ran back to the
and went to sleep. The next
morning they thought it
was a dream, but it was not
a dream they saw policemen
sorrounding the old wooden house.

(page two)
They asked the policemen what
they were doing there. The
policeman answered there
was a murder here last night,
would you happen to know
anything about that? It
looks like he comitted suicide.
But Rabeka and Todd knew
what had happened that
night Eddie did not commit
commit suicide it was the
ghost. Todd and Rabeka did not
say anything to the police for
they were afraid that the
ghost of the old wooden house
would after them. So they
did not say any thing to the
police. They lived there for
many years to come trying
to forget that night of
Eddie and the ghost and
the old wooden house.
THE END!


HAHAHAHA OMO, I was kinda scared after I read this, worried about the mental health of the writer of the story, then I remembered it was me and I was like "WEEEEH?" because I dont remember it, I do remember writing a ghost story about a wooden cabin, and a car.. and people... and scary stuff happening, but that was on our awesome windows ninetyold, and I made a picture for it and everything, I had finished the first chapter, but never got around to continuing it, since my co-writers (Messers HMT and FMT, maybe even MHT) didn't continue on with me.. hohoho

So Anyways That was really interesting for me, I read over a lot of my teacher reports and self school journal things and apparently I liked to write, and draw, and read books, I dont remember that. lete says i was ocd at a young age since i coloured within the lines.. but it would be ugly otherwise, i was very careful not to go outside the lines.

hahaha Happy 2012 World, Next year is my year!! I will be turning an Awesome age as well!! I like the number 24, not so much 23, I don´t really like the number 3. hohoh

Toodles For NoodleS!

list of things i need to do in the near future

1. Go To the Dentist, have all teeth removed. I mean fixed...
2. Reset License
3. Get a job
4. Buy Justin Bieber Toothbrush
5. organize things
6. be more independent hohooohohoho

Just so i dont forget, i tend to, for years sometimes :D number one is the only one thats in any sort of order, all the rest are just things i will forget, but this is a really great song, i especially love the 15 second bass solo. omo so awesome, well... im not a musically inclined person, so.... thats what ima call it!

Aya Kito

There was once a girl, her name was Aya Kito, she was diagnosed with spinocerebellar degeneration at around 15, meaning the part of her nervous system(brain?) that controls movement was damaged, and getting worse, because of a neurological disease.

You may know this sort of disease, where the persons body fails them but their mind functions quite the same, basically imprisoning the person in their own body.

So anyways, this girl wrote in her diary, at first for the doctors to monitor her degeneration (they asked her to write about how she was feeling, if it was harder to do something, or falling over, that sort of stuff[maybe i am making that up, since i saw it in the drama...]), but then it became her only outlet as the disease took over her body. She wrote until she could no longer hold a writing implement.

The Diary was published in japan when she was about 23, two years before her death. I believe it is called "One Litre of Tears". I don't think it was majorly popular in english since i cant seem to find it, but it does exist. (I have read that there were 48 notebooks/diaries in all that she wrote in, so obviously the published one isnt all of it)

Because there are awesome people in the world who have the capabilities and willingness to share awesome stuff, and feel the need to share with as many people as possible, I have been able to find translations of the book online, fragments by different people, but one person felt like combining all the things in one place!!

which is Here!

So its obviously very sad, since she is very young, but its also quite amazing, and makes you appreciate what you have, what we consider simple things, like walking, or choosing to lie down on the ground and looking up at the blue sky rather than falling.

This is one book that I would LOVE to add to my library. it would be a rare wonderful treasure!! there has been a movie and a drama made out of her life, but they take liberties and its not as interesting as the actual book, since they make it more dramatically wrenching, but since it didnt actually happen that way its less interesting to me (Like the drama throws in that she played basketball, and was in love with the lead guy in the guys basketball team before she was diagnosed, but aya kito was actually uncoordinated in her younger years, so she didnt play basketball[or any sport], but she does mention it, so maybe thats why they added it in the drama...)

Anywhos, I just felt like sharing that, since i love sharing good stuff, and wanted a place to store the information hehehe

Have any awesome books to recommend? I Love books

sometimes i imagine green people.

so i have a really terrible imagination, ok I have no imagination. Really. Its kinda shocking, and sad, and I really understand people who are of the same way. hhahahaha

so when i read books all the authors carefully thought out descriptions of characters and places and things, they are wasted on me. i try really hard to put all these different things together, but in the end i give up and use someone/something i have seen before (or used before hohoho). So, a lot of characters look the same in my head, kinda like how all the stuff in a lot of kpop videos are recycled hahahahaha

I don't know why, but i really just can not see things that my eyes havent seen before. so often its like "does not compute- does not compute-" with my arms and heads twitching, thats right, my multiple heads appear and twitch.

Even with houses, or paintings, or rooms, you can say "wouldnt it be great with this colour?" and in my head I just flicked through all my memories to find what i think it might look like and say "Yeah!..." or "Naahh.." and then change the subject since i dont know whats going on. especially colours. bing has really saved my brain, because there are so many colours where i just decided on what they sound like they would look like, but then i go bing it and find its much uglier, and differenter than i thought. hohoho

Just thought I should share that, so you dont ask my opinion, I can only see what I've seen, everything else not so much hohoho maybe if i try harder, but i am afraid of exploding my brain, i have tried to force images before, and it was just ugly, so I made it look like an old character i'd used before hahaha

so something awesome, when movies come out i am like "THAT DOES NOT EVEN*quickly goes and reads description*oh yeah, that looks exactly like the person..." making an "I hope no one caught on to my crazy... keke" look.

now this may sound sad or something, but it makes life interesting for sure, cuz when i find out what things are for reals, I am like WOW! THATS COOL! kekeke

Its DECEMBER! that is just wild. Christmas time is a comin! this is my favourite version of this song so far, i really like it hohoho

toodles for noodles!

The Hunger Games

I can now officially say with conviction..

I DO NOT LIKE THE HUNGER GAMES (trilogy books).

this ones gonna be big long and ugly, at first i felt better letting all my negative feelings about the book out, but then when i got to the more important reasons why i didnt like it i was reminded of how these books really weigh on my soul. I dont know why they bother me so much.. its disconcerting and i really wish I had never read these books.

so as some people may know, I have been reading the hunger games, the fanatical books that are being made into a movie. I had no intention of reading them since I had heard such horrible things about them, but after a few people told me i should give it a go, I trusted their judgment in a moment of insanity and I figured why not? so I got my hands on a set and I read them like a crazy, the way I do with any good story/book, but after finishing them I realized I wish I had not listened to those people who told me to give it a go.

my soul feels burdened by these books, I dont know why but it feels like these books have left a scarring mark on my soul. I don't understand it and I don't know why, it just makes me feel so heavy, low.

This is the song I listened to while reading these books, because it made me think of katniss and peeta

I really love this song, and peeta was my favourite guy, along with cinna

Onto the books!

this trilogy is way too "dragging of my soul into the depths of misery". I've gotta say, hunger games was a good one, and i enjoyed it (but it was still way too disturbing for me, i nearly put it down a few time because I am a soft soul... keke), but the other two books, through the first half of both i was like "WILL THIS NEVER END?!?!?!?" because it was way too boring for my whateveryouwanttocallit brain.

I feel inclined to say that I think the author did a super job in the writing department. Everything came together in the end into a nice little intricate origami piece that looked a bit crazy while it was happening, but in the end you see that its just a box, a perfect little box with all the edges folded in so you cant see any lines, except one.

Thess next bits are spoilers, sort of, but i think they are more warnings so you dont expect something that is never coming. I will make a wiggly line~~~ when the spoilers are done

I have one issue with the way the story plays out. CINNA, HELLO, that I think was a major failing, we learn absolutely nothing about him. I think everyone who reads the book should know before hand, so that they can avoid the disappointment and false hope, that you will learn nothing about cinna, except that he is a superb fashion designer and seems to grow to care for katnip. an Absolute let down considering he's one of the awesome characters. LAMELAMELAME(when you write it like that it looks a bit like my name hohoho)

I don't know, maybe I missed the super awesome tomes and chapters about him while in a sleepless stupor, but I do not recall ever reading where he came from, and why he wanted 12 and what the everything was behind the everything he did, or is the author implying he was just a shallow guy who wanted to make an awesome dint in history with his mad skills, who then came to realise that the tributes they sent into the arenas weren't just faceless creatures, but in fact were just children, terrified children who had no rights to live.

Maybe this is where she decided to leave the mystery and imagination spot, cuz in a lot of books i've read there are things that you can always wonder about, and if you look hard enough you can sometimes find the actual answer, but I felt with this book there was nothing left to wonder about in the end, like my description of the intricate origami box, in the end there were NO loose ends, everything tied together in a rather boring way after watching how it was so intricately folded, making a boring seamless box, except for this ugly gaping hole that is cinna.

One thing I did like, even though it took her all the way till about five pages left, katniss finally got some sense, and stopped being a psycho. shes a total animal survival instincts creature throughout nearly the ENTIRETY of the books, only caring about herself and the things(people) she cared about; but I thought there was something interesting about that as well, she counted Gale as family/someone she loved, but peeta and haymitch received indebted status; but it feels like in the end, she realises that she had those places mixed up, she was indebted to Gale forevs because maybe without him she wouldnt have survived, or been able to care for her family, but haymitch and peeta, because of what they go through together a bond is created which quickly turns to love all around! that was awesome.

but the change i like is that she stops concentrating on how she can save her family and the people she cares about, and how they should kill all the capitol people (she sometimes agrees with gale who is a total blind idiot psycho), and realises that they are people too. It feels like in the end she lets go of her revenge, the blood lust revenge that she holds on to throughout a lot of the books, but rather seeks justice, when shes not wallowing in suicidal thoughts.

Another thing I hate about katnip was how she never listened to Peeta, even though he was right every time(that i can recall), she always listened to everystupidbody else, if she had listened to peeta than im sure she would have avoided a lot of stupid crap, but then maybe she never would have had the chance to shoot the despicable woman.

Another thing I didnt like was how Peeta never seemed to be regarded seriously because he wasnt a bloodthirsty idiot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``

I feel like these books are an accurate description of our society. in the end

*SPOLEIR*

when katniss agreed to send the children to the game i was like RAWOER but i really liked how she shoots the stupid woman(I fully believe the 13 people were despicable and only started to care because they were dying out) rather than the guy. I think its really sad how everyone thinks it was a bad thing, and that she had lost her mind, but she did it realising how horrible all the people were, one would think the tributes would realise what a horrible thing the games were, but they still thought that the capitol children should get a taste. Only caring about what the parents would feel, those children would be the innocent sacrifice for their bloody revenge.

I liked how katniss brings it all into perspective, how this is probably how it all went down in the first place

*SPOELIR OBER!*

Something these books Really got me thinking about is something thats in the new mormon messages video

It also made me think very much about how I hope that should I ever be faced with such adversity(oppressive disgusting government/people), that my heart will not fail me! and I will not be complacent and only thinking of my own well being, That I will have the courage to do what is right!

in conclusion, I really do not like these books, and wish I had never read them. I dont feel the need to read horrible books about the disgusting horribleness of human nature to be reminded of how disgusting and horrible human beings have a tendency to be in desperate situations, and occasions they think allow it (In fact I shouldnt read such books since my opinion of human beings is actually quite low already), if i need a reminder i just remember all the homeless people in the world, and the starving people, and the rich people and the well off people, and how as human beings we feel like we cant help others because we need to help ourselves. Don't get me wrong, I am one of these people, maybe thats why i dislike it so much, it reminds me that i am one of them.