Oh the Cleverness of Me!!

sooooohoooooohooooooo I went to Utah for Christmas, I dont know when or what my last post was, and I am too lazy to go see (hoohoohoo), but I am pretty sure it was in Utah...


Okay so many great and wonderful things have happened!

Utah was supa fantasticsh! Dustin and Mele'Ofa got me PREZZIES!!! and they were Awesome prezzies, and i did use them much. WOOHOOO THANKS GUESS!! and then Melisa AND Miriam sent Christmas Cards! or rather the Wileys and the Reeves'(..?) WITh Writing To Me!!! AND THEN! Maliana Sent me a Pressies Through MAMMA!!! AND THEN!!! MAMMA GAVE ME A PRESSIES FROM HALDORA! she made some sokkasko... innisko... I can never remember what they are called, and mamma gave them to me!!!!!! just when I needed Them!! Because mamma made me a pair, but I obviously made them holey so Ya!!!

every thing was so great this year! because I wasnt expecting much of anything hohoho but I got SOO MUCH!!! and i didnt give anything either, which makes me feel Terrible since I got all these amazing things! I am a bit of a lazy bugger like that , but Christmas Cards are SOOO COOOOL, I want to send them, when I become more level headed (teehee procrastination mucho?)

my last night in Utah Mele'Ofa wanted to go out to eat, and asked where I wanted to go. Me being the uncultured lout I am Had No Idea what to suggest, So I said I wanted to go somewhere Reallly Utahy, so That I would forever remember the Utah (hahaha I love being a tourist!). SO we went to Crown Burgers (or Burger Crown, something with crown) food for dinner, I got a crown burger and rice pudding juice (hahahah it Really does taste like that!) which I shared with Miaya, Who Loved it! and wanted more hahaha

We then headed towards Temple Square, and Miaya had a Crazy Attack on the way; it was so funny! the parents thought it was the juice talkin hahahahah the Mexican Rice pudding juice hahahaha she was telling everyone to Shut Up and Everything! hhahahhahaha it was so Funny! she calmed down though hahaha


Temple square was SO AmAzinG! just walking around that place I could really feel The Spirit, and it reminded me of the true meaning of Christmas. Such a Great Thing.


So the New Year is Upon Us! WOO I just realised this is my first post of the year, the eighth.. not too shabby. So The New Year always forces me to take a look back at the past year, and to examine all the things that I did or did not do, and This Year I am wanting to do some things. I don't want to call them resolutions because that word fills me with loathing and hatred, I am sure if I looked it up and read the etymology I might not be so filled with these feelings, but cest la vie.

sOOOOO The first thing I want to laga is my Brain! over the past few years it has become so despicably racist! of course I don't think "stupid *insert race/racial slur*! can't *insert racist accusations*!" But I think its as good as. My brain jumps to conclusions and marks individuals and their behaviours and appearances all too quickly, than places them all in the so and so box because of this that or the other. but the really stupid thing is that it isnt just race, it could be anything, such as Age, Sex, clothes, cars, shoes, socks, glasses, animals, food, hair, books, oh its terrible! so its not just racism, its more I judge and generalize WAY TOO MUCH! I shouldnt do it at all! I should just let my brain explode with the information overload of having everyone in their own pen, rather than all in a similarity boxes.

I think it is mostly because I have become lazy, in the sense that I dont want to have to think of people as Individuals, rather groups of similarity people.

oh how I Hate it! I've become such a ... {Split? halved? lost? confused? lazy? bum? Broken?} sort of a person, I'll let you chose one.

Its hard to explain, but there is an image in my head of a circus stage with a water tank that is halved. There is a ladder behind the tank and a man standing on top of it holding up another tank that is smaller than one of the halves of the big tank, but full of Water. The person is pouring the water into the halves, and not being too careful about it. I am that third tank, being poured carelessly into the halves. DOESNT MAKE SENSE!!! Why Pour the little water tank into two bigger ones??? isnt it better to keep it WHole in the original???? hahaha What a strange image, and it wont go away.

Anywho, That is one of the things I will be working on, Not Judging and labeling others, but its so hard, especially in todays society when people dont want to be different hahaha, but hasnt it always been so? its hard because my mind is set to Auto label, I WILL CONQUER!! VICTORY!!!! (teehee my favourite

I'll never Understand

In the extensive time I've spent in This world (an arduous 19 summers and 8 moons) I have seen very little of humanity, but I have known much of it. I've circled the globe numerous times (that numer being one); Tasted many lands and cultures (most being to the dislike of my tongue) and seen many ways of life. All that I have seen and heard (which could be seen as very much by most, but very little by a few) is both fascinating and intriguing, as well as disturbing and confusing. The Truth? Nobody knows, and they won't for a very long long time. Did you know that in this day and Age, the very 21st century "liberal" world that we live in, Racism is still very prominent? Everywhere. I can't grasp this at all, it simply does not compute, If I were a piece of machinery I would melt in the attempt of trying to .. grasp the... idea of it, it simply doesn't make any sense to a brain that functions on any sort of anything (obviously that's not true considering that there are brains everywhere that somehow rationalize and justify this idiotic idea)! The sad thing is I am not talking about the KKK and other such obvious baddies, I am talking about your every day man and woman, the randoms you pass in the street, the people you greet in the morning as you pass, that one woman that sits next to you on the bus everyday, that guy who is always walking his dog in the park. Sometimes Its ever so subtle, but its always there. It makes me very sad, but when I see it in action It enrages me, especially when it is a friend who is the victim. Racism is such a touchy issue with me, which is very strange considering I've only ever experienced it once, maybe its because I see it all the time and the injustice is just too much for my fragile temper (hehe).

Obviously I am a very dramatic creature, so I try to only see the bad in people (this is just my dramatics getting out of hand, the truth is I cant help but assume all are good, and even when they do me wrong and bad I still can't admit they are bad, a bit like Jane Bennett, minus a lot of the goodness and silly stupidity.. so not like her.. HarHar). I wonder, maybe I am a hypocrite, maybe i am a hardcore racist, maybe i am the one with the closed mind that refuses to see anything of logic and sense(this reminds me of the saying "I am not a racist, I hate Everyone Equally")

I wonder, If my parents were not two very diverse cultures(but were indeed the same), and I had not been raised around the world, and had had a neighbor that was my best friend who I attended all the same schools with and one day our grandchildren got married, Would I be the small minded Racist that some weirdo who had been raised around the world with very different backgrounds from the very different parents was complaining about? Am I only so outraged by the idea because I don't fit into it? I shudder at the thought, but cannot defend myself. That makes me sad, the idea that the only reason it disgusts me is because I cant be apart of it, I do indeed wonder; I cant bring myself to say that "I'm glad I had this upbringing because now I am not like that", I feel that If I were to say that then It would be admitting that it is the only reason, and that thought makes me incredibly sad. But I am very glad that I am not like that, and I am very appreciative and thankful for my little life on this little planet, so many things I've seen, I used to be a rarity(along with my six siblings), but now it seems quite common to meet a fellow nomad yet to find their home.


One Day