Wednesday, December 14, 2011

list of things i need to do in the near future

  1. Go To the Dentist, have all teeth removed. I mean fixed...
  2. Reset License
  3. Get a job
  4. Buy Justin Bieber Toothbrush
  5. organize things
  6. be more independent hohooohohoho
Just so i dont forget, i tend to, for years sometimes :D number one is the only one thats in any sort of order, all the rest are just things i will forget, but this is a really great song, i especially love the 15 second bass solo. omo so awesome, well... im not a musically inclined person, so.... thats what ima call it!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Aya Kito

There was once a girl, her name was Aya Kito, she was diagnosed with spinocerebellar degeneration at around 15, meaning the part of her nervous system(brain?) that controls movement was damaged, and getting worse, because of a neurological disease.

You may know this sort of disease, where the persons body fails them but their mind functions quite the same, basically imprisoning the person in their own body.

So anyways, this girl wrote in her diary, at first for the doctors to monitor her degeneration (they asked her to write about how she was feeling, if it was harder to do something, or falling over, that sort of stuff[maybe i am making that up, since i saw it in the drama...]), but then it became her only outlet as the disease took over her body. She wrote until she could no longer hold a writing implement.

The Diary was published in japan when she was about 23, two years before her death. I believe it is called "One Litre of Tears". I don't think it was majorly popular in english since i cant seem to find it, but it does exist. (I have read that there were 48 notebooks/diaries in all that she wrote in, so obviously the published one isnt all of it)

Because there are awesome people in the world who have the capabilities and willingness to share awesome stuff, and feel the need to share with as many people as possible, I have been able to find translations of the book online, fragments by different people, but one person felt like combining all the things in one place!!

which is Here!

So its obviously very sad, since she is very young, but its also quite amazing, and makes you appreciate what you have, what we consider simple things, like walking, or choosing to lie down on the ground and looking up at the blue sky rather than falling.

This is one book that I would LOVE to add to my library. it would be a rare wonderful treasure!! there has been a movie and a drama made out of her life, but they take liberties and its not as interesting as the actual book, since they make it more dramatically wrenching, but since it didnt actually happen that way its less interesting to me (Like the drama throws in that she played basketball, and was in love with the lead guy in the guys basketball team before she was diagnosed, but aya kito was actually uncoordinated in her younger years, so she didnt play basketball[or any sport], but she does mention it, so maybe thats why they added it in the drama...)

Anywhos, I just felt like sharing that, since i love sharing good stuff, and wanted a place to store the information hehehe

Have any awesome books to recommend? I Love books

Saturday, December 3, 2011

sometimes i imagine green people.

so i have a really terrible imagination, ok I have no imagination. Really. Its kinda shocking, and sad, and I really understand people who are of the same way. hhahahaha

so when i read books all the authors carefully thought out descriptions of characters and places and things, they are wasted on me. i try really hard to put all these different things together, but in the end i give up and use someone/something i have seen before (or used before hohoho). So, a lot of characters look the same in my head, kinda like how all the stuff in a lot of kpop videos are recycled hahahahaha

I don't know why, but i really just can not see things that my eyes havent seen before. so often its like "does not compute- does not compute-" with my arms and heads twitching, thats right, my multiple heads appear and twitch.

Even with houses, or paintings, or rooms, you can say "wouldnt it be great with this colour?" and in my head I just flicked through all my memories to find what i think it might look like and say "Yeah!..." or "Naahh.." and then change the subject since i dont know whats going on. especially colours. bing has really saved my brain, because there are so many colours where i just decided on what they sound like they would look like, but then i go bing it and find its much uglier, and differenter than i thought. hohoho

Just thought I should share that, so you dont ask my opinion, I can only see what I've seen, everything else not so much hohoho maybe if i try harder, but i am afraid of exploding my brain, i have tried to force images before, and it was just ugly, so I made it look like an old character i'd used before hahaha

so something awesome, when movies come out i am like "THAT DOES NOT EVEN*quickly goes and reads description*oh yeah, that looks exactly like the person..." making an "I hope no one caught on to my crazy... keke" look.

now this may sound sad or something, but it makes life interesting for sure, cuz when i find out what things are for reals, I am like WOW! THATS COOL! kekeke

Its DECEMBER! that is just wild. Christmas time is a comin! this is my favourite version of this song so far, i really like it hohoho

toodles for noodles!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

The Hunger Games

I can now officially say with conviction..


this ones gonna be big long and ugly, at first i felt better letting all my negative feelings about the book out, but then when i got to the more important reasons why i didnt like it i was reminded of how these books really weigh on my soul. I dont know why they bother me so much.. its disconcerting and i really wish I had never read these books.

so as some people may know, I have been reading the hunger games, the fanatical books that are being made into a movie. I had no intention of reading them since I had heard such horrible things about them, but after a few people told me i should give it a go, I trusted their judgment in a moment of insanity and I figured why not? so I got my hands on a set and I read them like a crazy, the way I do with any good story/book, but after finishing them I realized I wish I had not listened to those people who told me to give it a go.

my soul feels burdened by these books, I dont know why but it feels like these books have left a scarring mark on my soul. I don't understand it and I don't know why, it just makes me feel so heavy, low.

This is the song I listened to while reading these books, because it made me think of katniss and peeta

I really love this song, and peeta was my favourite guy, along with cinna

Onto the books!

this trilogy is way too "dragging of my soul into the depths of misery". I've gotta say, hunger games was a good one, and i enjoyed it (but it was still way too disturbing for me, i nearly put it down a few time because I am a soft soul... keke), but the other two books, through the first half of both i was like "WILL THIS NEVER END?!?!?!?" because it was way too boring for my whateveryouwanttocallit brain.

I feel inclined to say that I think the author did a super job in the writing department. Everything came together in the end into a nice little intricate origami piece that looked a bit crazy while it was happening, but in the end you see that its just a box, a perfect little box with all the edges folded in so you cant see any lines, except one.

Thess next bits are spoilers, sort of, but i think they are more warnings so you dont expect something that is never coming. I will make a wiggly line~~~ when the spoilers are done

I have one issue with the way the story plays out. CINNA, HELLO, that I think was a major failing, we learn absolutely nothing about him. I think everyone who reads the book should know before hand, so that they can avoid the disappointment and false hope, that you will learn nothing about cinna, except that he is a superb fashion designer and seems to grow to care for katnip. an Absolute let down considering he's one of the awesome characters. LAMELAMELAME(when you write it like that it looks a bit like my name hohoho)

I don't know, maybe I missed the super awesome tomes and chapters about him while in a sleepless stupor, but I do not recall ever reading where he came from, and why he wanted 12 and what the everything was behind the everything he did, or is the author implying he was just a shallow guy who wanted to make an awesome dint in history with his mad skills, who then came to realise that the tributes they sent into the arenas weren't just faceless creatures, but in fact were just children, terrified children who had no rights to live.

Maybe this is where she decided to leave the mystery and imagination spot, cuz in a lot of books i've read there are things that you can always wonder about, and if you look hard enough you can sometimes find the actual answer, but I felt with this book there was nothing left to wonder about in the end, like my description of the intricate origami box, in the end there were NO loose ends, everything tied together in a rather boring way after watching how it was so intricately folded, making a boring seamless box, except for this ugly gaping hole that is cinna.

One thing I did like, even though it took her all the way till about five pages left, katniss finally got some sense, and stopped being a psycho. shes a total animal survival instincts creature throughout nearly the ENTIRETY of the books, only caring about herself and the things(people) she cared about; but I thought there was something interesting about that as well, she counted Gale as family/someone she loved, but peeta and haymitch received indebted status; but it feels like in the end, she realises that she had those places mixed up, she was indebted to Gale forevs because maybe without him she wouldnt have survived, or been able to care for her family, but haymitch and peeta, because of what they go through together a bond is created which quickly turns to love all around! that was awesome.

but the change i like is that she stops concentrating on how she can save her family and the people she cares about, and how they should kill all the capitol people (she sometimes agrees with gale who is a total blind idiot psycho), and realises that they are people too. It feels like in the end she lets go of her revenge, the blood lust revenge that she holds on to throughout a lot of the books, but rather seeks justice, when shes not wallowing in suicidal thoughts.

Another thing I hate about katnip was how she never listened to Peeta, even though he was right every time(that i can recall), she always listened to everystupidbody else, if she had listened to peeta than im sure she would have avoided a lot of stupid crap, but then maybe she never would have had the chance to shoot the despicable woman.

Another thing I didnt like was how Peeta never seemed to be regarded seriously because he wasnt a bloodthirsty idiot.


I feel like these books are an accurate description of our society. in the end


when katniss agreed to send the children to the game i was like RAWOER but i really liked how she shoots the stupid woman(I fully believe the 13 people were despicable and only started to care because they were dying out) rather than the guy. I think its really sad how everyone thinks it was a bad thing, and that she had lost her mind, but she did it realising how horrible all the people were, one would think the tributes would realise what a horrible thing the games were, but they still thought that the capitol children should get a taste. Only caring about what the parents would feel, those children would be the innocent sacrifice for their bloody revenge.
I liked how katniss brings it all into perspective, how this is probably how it all went down in the first place


Something these books Really got me thinking about is something thats in the new mormon messages video

It also made me think very much about how I hope that should I ever be faced with such adversity(oppressive disgusting government/people), that my heart will not fail me! and I will not be complacent and only thinking of my own well being, That I will have the courage to do what is right!

in conclusion, I really do not like these books, and wish I had never read them. I dont feel the need to read horrible books about the disgusting horribleness of human nature to be reminded of how disgusting and horrible human beings have a tendency to be in desperate situations, and occasions they think allow it (In fact I shouldnt read such books since my opinion of human beings is actually quite low already), if i need a reminder i just remember all the homeless people in the world, and the starving people, and the rich people and the well off people, and how as human beings we feel like we cant help others because we need to help ourselves. Don't get me wrong, I am one of these people, maybe thats why i dislike it so much, it reminds me that i am one of them.