I'll never Understand

In the extensive time I've spent in This world (an arduous 19 summers and 8 moons) I have seen very little of humanity, but I have known much of it. I've circled the globe numerous times (that numer being one); Tasted many lands and cultures (most being to the dislike of my tongue) and seen many ways of life. All that I have seen and heard (which could be seen as very much by most, but very little by a few) is both fascinating and intriguing, as well as disturbing and confusing. The Truth? Nobody knows, and they won't for a very long long time. Did you know that in this day and Age, the very 21st century "liberal" world that we live in, Racism is still very prominent? Everywhere. I can't grasp this at all, it simply does not compute, If I were a piece of machinery I would melt in the attempt of trying to .. grasp the... idea of it, it simply doesn't make any sense to a brain that functions on any sort of anything (obviously that's not true considering that there are brains everywhere that somehow rationalize and justify this idiotic idea)! The sad thing is I am not talking about the KKK and other such obvious baddies, I am talking about your every day man and woman, the randoms you pass in the street, the people you greet in the morning as you pass, that one woman that sits next to you on the bus everyday, that guy who is always walking his dog in the park. Sometimes Its ever so subtle, but its always there. It makes me very sad, but when I see it in action It enrages me, especially when it is a friend who is the victim. Racism is such a touchy issue with me, which is very strange considering I've only ever experienced it once, maybe its because I see it all the time and the injustice is just too much for my fragile temper (hehe).

Obviously I am a very dramatic creature, so I try to only see the bad in people (this is just my dramatics getting out of hand, the truth is I cant help but assume all are good, and even when they do me wrong and bad I still can't admit they are bad, a bit like Jane Bennett, minus a lot of the goodness and silly stupidity.. so not like her.. HarHar). I wonder, maybe I am a hypocrite, maybe i am a hardcore racist, maybe i am the one with the closed mind that refuses to see anything of logic and sense(this reminds me of the saying "I am not a racist, I hate Everyone Equally")

I wonder, If my parents were not two very diverse cultures(but were indeed the same), and I had not been raised around the world, and had had a neighbor that was my best friend who I attended all the same schools with and one day our grandchildren got married, Would I be the small minded Racist that some weirdo who had been raised around the world with very different backgrounds from the very different parents was complaining about? Am I only so outraged by the idea because I don't fit into it? I shudder at the thought, but cannot defend myself. That makes me sad, the idea that the only reason it disgusts me is because I cant be apart of it, I do indeed wonder; I cant bring myself to say that "I'm glad I had this upbringing because now I am not like that", I feel that If I were to say that then It would be admitting that it is the only reason, and that thought makes me incredibly sad. But I am very glad that I am not like that, and I am very appreciative and thankful for my little life on this little planet, so many things I've seen, I used to be a rarity(along with my six siblings), but now it seems quite common to meet a fellow nomad yet to find their home.


One Day