어떻게!

I tHINK!! I think I think I think, I am looking for something that doesn't exist for me!

so I never thought of myself as a silly useless chit that thought too much about stupid things, BUT I WAS WRONG!!! I think I have subconsciously(or was IT?? I think nooooot) been looking for something that doesnt exist for everyone!

That's right! the stupid idea that a prince in knighting armour will appear and say "I've been searching for you all my life, MARRY ME!" I don't REALLY want that, but I seconsciously am looking for someone who will say "I want to give you everything in the world, you don't have to do anything, just breath". Like I told maliana that I really like the proposal that the chubby boy makes in cinderella's sister (korean Drama), he says "I'll give you everything I have and support you in everything you want to do.." and so on and so forth, even going so far as to not care that she didn't love him that way haha I know its really selfish, but I like it! haha but not REALLY, just the idea of it, having a lackey who would do anything you wanted.

Alas! I am such a person! a despicable girl! who uses all the people who bring it upon themselves, I personally think thats how the world goes around, people love people and they do all they can for them, even though the person doesn't reciprocate. I like to think that's how I live, doing all I can for those I Love, wanting only their happiness and nothing more in return (lete and henry don't count keke) Here is one of my favourite stories that always comes to mind (along with a bunch of scriptures) When I think of love, and when people say strange things like "They will be paying you right?" or talk too much about money and material things

here's one for the germans!


and one for others (bleach music and allll)


and one for LETE AND MELEOFA!! kekeke WEIRD



And One for Elder Toutai!


OK I got a little carried away with one of my favourite Manga's...

But isn't that what love is supposed to be? Giving All, and wanting not in return. but a happy marriage is both people wanting that for each other keke

stormy weather

p.s. I totally got side tracked, the thing I was talking about when I was talking about being a silly chit is the whole "the first time I laid Eyes on her, I knew she was the one" you know, that sop fictitious sounding stuff, the typical drama/romcom/movie story how the guy becomes besotted by the girl and follows her around annoying her to death and you watch it and you're like "I WOULD SO NOT BE ANNOYED!" because he is a super good looking guy with lots of money and a pitiable story, What i'm meaning refuses to come out in sense. Anyways.

thinking about it, I would HATE that, I cant stand people actively trying to win my affection, I prefer the edward style, where you dont even know if he is trying or not (I watched eclipse for the first time the other day, still prefer New Moon, AWesomer musics!). Well, ya know, like an animal I don't like to be forced into things, coaxing is the best, thats what edward dids (I still don't know if he was sincere on the mountain, where jacob accused him of playing the game better...)!