Monday, August 1, 2011

WARNING! This Blog is big, long and Ugly. very ugly

soooo My plan for New York is OUtta Here!! This is what the plan entailed! I would apply for a job at this old folks home, and work there until unnur was flying to New York and then go to new york for a week and then go to melisa. BUT! most vital entailment is that to work in Iceland I would be staying in Iceland, and If I dont like it here, How Can I stay?? haha So I have decided to leave whenevs bro, I guess I should really get that in check. Oh Shiznit, there is lots of crap I need to do. oh the day is too short.

So aside from K-Pop and stuff, I Totally Love Panic! at the Disco! their new album is totally appropriate! and I personally think its because the one guy who was Bi left the group, and so now they are only two, a mormon and a drummer. But I used to hate them because their musics was so catchy, but it was bad, but this new album is a total awesome! no swears or nothin, and even the content is pretty good. So I have been listening to a lot of that lately.

HaHa Iceland is so weird, I am never going to understand it... its so beautiful here, and I Love the people here, but something about here strangles and kills me! or seems to try :O

Mamma often mentions how someone once said they feel very much for the Young Women(young women as in women that are young, not the mutual program for females) of Iceland, since there arent any priesthood holders, or something. But I completely feel the same way, for different reasons. some of the fellows here in Iceland (most of them, but obviously not all) Are inconsiderate idiot faces and are always harping on about how there are no females in Iceland.

Lets see, this happens all the time, so it also happened when I was here last. How inconsiderate! because there were obviously TWO females, one being melanie and the other being an other female. Inconsiderate Fools. I dont really care because I can jump to wherever whenever, and so I am an aloof type that pretends not to care, but most of the time i really dont(read as do) care, but what about other female? she has to be stuck on this rock, with these Jerk guys who dont seem to want to acknowledge her (or myself) as a female. Seriously, guys can be so moronically stupid. Idiots. Jerk guys in Iceland are stupid jerky. Really they are. But then I guess that might just be how guys are in general, everywhere around the world. No, I didnt really get that vibe from my friends in Aus, but i guess every place has their quirks.. I think the eyes of Icelandic males are too small (hahah this statement totally reminded me of Dad :O

blegh, I sure hope I can wash my hands of Iceland this time around, I can't handle it. I really didnt want to come back, really really really, when I was asked my heart sank and I became sad, very sad, and I wondered why mamma wanted to send me away, I was sad all the way to Iceland, and then when i got here it was FREAKING COLD (like 3° C) and windy and I couldnt find the car. Even my want to surprise everyone didnt work, because somehow everyone knew..

I consoled myself by pretending some hot asian guy would be vacationing here and bump into me and we would be good friends. obviously this shallow thought didnt console me at all, but it helped me to be silly and laugh rather than cry.

Oh Iceland. you are too cruel.

Iceland is the worst place to be for a female who needs a confidence boost, or anything at all really.

This time, I REFUSE to come back to Iceland before I am married, thats what i said last time, but this time i am serious, you cant come here without some sort of Moral support

But! I have still learned things here in Iceland, I keep becoming more independent. I left on a fast sunday, and I sure am glad for that. Lete's sundayschool teachers wife bore her testimony, and she told a story about how sometimes we do things and its working out perfectly, and then something horribly not according to plan happens and we flail a bit because we are like "WHAT I WAS GETTING A GOOD FEELING, I THOUGHT THAT WAS WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DOING..Ð!?"Ð'Ð" but then when we allow ourselves to calm down and feel the promptings of the spirit and do as they say, something miraculously better Happens! but if we had tried it just a few minutes earlier, it would not have been there. Sometimes it takes times for things to be ready, so we have to have patience. Thats one thing that I will always be having to work on.. my patience,

oh another thing I learned is that sometimes you have to do things you dont want to, you really do, you really dont.

blegh blegh blegh

I like this song, I speaks volumes to me! I think its very much me! hoohooo


Maliana said...

i know what you mean all to well, those guys suck, its not nice or completely true, but there you are, thats why i wanted to not be "so" minded when i went there, but of course my little head and heart got hurt, (somehow it seems inevitable) but then miracles happened, that i didnt at all see coming, and i got my happily ever after, i know everyone knows but it really is about having faith, that the right things will happen.

meleofa said...

I had a hard time in Iceland too. I wonder how it would be to go back now as a grown up.

Dude, that happens often, the whole everything is going good and you think you're doing what you're supposed to and then, AND THEN, something happens that throws everything out of whack. It reminds me of the parable of the gardener. (I'm not sure if this is what it's actually called, that's just what I think of it as.) Where there is a bush, and it's growing so big and tall and feeling awesome about it, and then the gardener comes along and cuts it down to size. The bush is so sad and crying and telling the gardener that it was getting so big and awesome, and why did you cut me down? I was almost as big and tall as the trees! And then the gardener tells the bush, but you are not meant to be a tree, you are a bush. And he says it lovingly, not coldly. I love this parable. love it, love it, love it. That's how things go sometimes. You're just supposed to do or be something else. It can be so hard, though.

I agree with Maliana! Faith is such a big key.

And after that wall of text, I am done.

Hera said...

I know what you mean. I always felt like I did not belong in Iceland even though I grew up there and i am from there. I think this is all about finding yourself and go from there. The good thing is to keep the positiveness that comes from the experience. You have your whole life ahead of you. Sometime mamma has to be the bad wolf for a little while, It is all good in the end.
Love for now.

MiriamR said...

I am not a man hater or anything but I was watching the TODAY show yesterday and a survey that men took said 50% of them would leave their significant other if they gain a significant amount of weight. 50%!! thats the same rate of divorce! this was men who were not married! I think lots of men are selfish and shallow until they find someone who will whip them into place! Anyways I look forward to your leaving of iceland! Often times that can brighten the horizons.
Oh and its true about things going really well and then not. I call it the cycle of life we have to be tested constantly and I am always hoping to be ready for the next.